Understand Fear Based Decision Making

Believe it or not, one of my favorite tools in decision making is fear. Over the years as I’ve made choices to live creatively, I’ve had to get real close with my fear.

Fear Based Rationale

When working with fear you must first look at it in terms of “fear based rationale”. If you choose using “fear based rationale” you most likely go down a certain road because you are afraid that if you choose another option you won’t be accepted, safe, or taken care of. I call this “fear based rationale” because the decision is coming from a negative thought process.

“I choose option A, because if I choose option B, I won’t be able to pay my bills”. In this example, it’s likely you want to choose option B but you are too focused on lack. When you operate from this mindset, faith is nonexistent and the unknown is seen as constrictive rather than expansive. This mindset keeps you in a zone that is safe but typically not satisfying or growth enhancing. When you choose based on this decision you can probably see how life will play out for you in regards to this situation for the next couple of years. It’s easy to imagine because the details are clear, whether you like them or not.

Soul Feeder

So what if you were to make a decision based on how it feeds your soul? Right, most likely your first response to that statement is an eye roll and keypad stroke to the X button of this page. Stay with me though. The “soul feeder” decision is the one that excites you but probably triggers more alarms in your rational headspace. This is the decision that sounds most intriguing but the the details of your basic security needs are a bit fuzzy. You honestly don’t know how the future will play out if this is the decision that is chosen. But, you are still excited about the opportunity at hand and want to see it unfold further, despite fear of the unknown.


There is a balance between fear based rationale and the soul feeder decisions. Yes, you always have to protect yourself and look out for your best interest– sometimes that best interest is to feed your soul instead of your comfort. There are so many times that I have chosen to soul feed and all I brought with me was faith. I thought, if I approach this with a clear attitude and a strong commitment to my path that I would be taken care of, and I always was.

I moved across country with nothing more than what I could fit in my car, to a town I’ve never heard of, into a house with a girl I had never met. Two years later I left that town as part of the community with several strong friendships and a new understanding of my capabilities. I didn’t aways have every material thing I wanted in that situation, but I was testing my limits and ultimately grew from the experience.

To choose in this way you have to strengthen your relationship with faith in the unknown and your ability to work with the energy around you.

Sit in a quiet comfortable space and take a few minutes to ground, breathe, and tune in. Then ask for something– something small. This could be a piece of chocolate, an image of a humming bird, or a friend to call you. To be clear, you aren’t asking for a sign to help you make your decision, you are just strengthening your faith muscle. Now, be specific. Ask to receive this small gift in the next 48 hours. Then, take a deep breath, thank the universe for working with you, and let it go. It’s important that you take this approach from a place of love and gratitude, not from a place of disbelief or testing.

I’ve done this exercise several times and it always blows my mind. Give it a try and let us know what happens!

Once you’ve strengthened your ability to trust that you will always be taken care of, look back at what you are deciding between. Sometimes you will choose comfort, but when it’s right, know that if you choose to feed your soul, you will find something even greater.

Happy choosing!