This Monday I’ve got nothing for you, and it’s not for a lack of trying. I’ve sat with my journal, in front of my computer and on my meditation cushion, and I’ve got [almost] nothing. But as it goes, having nothing did give me a little something and it features the one mindful enemy we’ve all come to know and love: the ego.
Yes I said it, I love my ego, despite it being the evil that so many mindful teachers, myself included, have warned against. As it goes the ego cannot be pushed away completely and in some instances it can help you move toward big change, growth and accomplishments.
When you work with your ego in a healthy way it helps you engage in situations and reach for things that feel beyond your reach. Though, when you work with ego in an unhealthy way, you end up going toward things that are rooted in a need for acceptance and love from any other source but your own. The unhealthy ego just pushes without authenticity behind it, and as I’ve come to learn: the more you push without authenticity, the less you move.
As I sat in front of my empty screen trying to type something worth sharing I started to wonder why nothing was coming to mind.
- My meditation practice lacked this weekend
- I had been distracting myself with podcasts and Netflix
- I have been working too much
Yeah, that makes sense. I had nothing to give because I hadn’t been giving to myself. Unhealthy ego would have pushed me to write a post I thought you would care about but that had little of my own truth behind it. Healthy ego said fuck it. I am engaged in the situation and the situation is telling me to stop writing and go meditate. And so I will.
Here is to your healthy ego. To engage with your truth in the moment when all other signs say you should do something else. Here is to you. Your nothing. Your Self.
Let there be nothing. Let there be silence.
Have a happy and healthy week.