I say a lot on this blog, but sometimes what I say the most is “I”.
This week I say “I” in a different sense, this week I say, “I hear you.”
Mindfulness and the exploration of self can feel one sided, even selfish or narcissistic at times.
In the realm of spirituality the self gets thrown around a lot. We’re taught that there is no separation of self and other, that in fact all beings are one. So to undo all of those years that we took comfort in the separation of self and others, we have to explore the self and the many walls we’ve put up around it.
This weekend I did the opposite of that. I got selfish. I saw that my blog numbers were doing well so I celebrated. Then I got mad that they weren’t doing better. Because if 100 people read, why don’t 100,000. (Yes, this a super embarrassing thing to admit, I cringe as I type but in the spirit of honesty, I type on.)
Does it matter if 100 or 100,000 people read? Only to my ego it does. Only to the place in my mind that focuses on material success. And even with the amount of mindfulness that I try to take in daily, the number game can still take its tole on me.
This blog is not about me. I know that. Today, I feel like I have to tell you that. Because to me, not ego me but real me, it truly doesn’t matter if 100 or 1 or 10 or 100,000 people are reading.
Two things matter to me when it comes to this blog.
1.) My deepest need is not to be seen by others, it’s to be seen by myself. I write so that I can better understand myself, and I do that through my words.
2.) I share with the hope that maybe what I recognize in myself can help you recognize something in you. Not because I know it all, but because there is little separation between my experience and yours. We may experience it differently, but they’re the same feelings.
Separation releases slightly.
I share because maybe if we can recognize each other’s experiences as similar to our own, we are one step closer to recognizing our oneness.
Because, isn’t what we all need most is to be seen or heard? Recognized as humans having human experiences. To be validated as a person. To be listened to.
I share them so that maybe you can see yourself a little better too. (Just maybe.)
But if you don’t see yourself today, or if what you need is not to be seen but to be heard, know that I hear you. I see you. I recognize you, not as a number that shows up next to my blog statistics, but as a person.
A person. A human with human experiences, just needing to be recognized by others and through Self.
I hear you.
If you need to be heard, write me. Leave a comment. Send an email. If nothing else, know that I am always listening.
Have a happy & healthy week.