When I set out to write this week’s mantra, I didn’t realize it at the time, but this is “eyes on your own paper” part two. But this week I’m not talking about looking to other people for the answers. Instead, I’m looking at the moments when we let other people’s fears become our own.
As an empath you naturally want to put yourself in another person’s shoes. You want to understand them better by seeing situations through their perspective. A lot of the time this is a noble characteristic, but you have to be aware of when you’re doing it for good and when it has the potential to hurt or hinder you.
We take on other people’s fears in several ways. Sometimes people just lay it out on us. We tell them about a scenario we’re in, and they immediately bring it to their own past experiences or their own anxiety or stress with that topic. We can also bring it on ourselves by seeking out stories of people who have struggled in the way we are afraid to.
Another person’s experience, another person’s fears have nothing to do with our own situations. Of course we all know that we’re different people with different experiences. But on top of that, fear—someone else’s or our own—is a false truth. We fear things that haven’t happened, things that we don’t know will happen, things that have no truth to our specific moment in time.
Our fears are just as made up as our favorite fictional characters. They may be based on some form of reality, but it is not a reality that you currently face. And you have no way of confirming that you will ever face it, and that means in this moment—this moment that doesn’t include that reality—you have no business fearing it or thinking about it.
Fear is future tripping. And if you’re anything like me, I am over that shit. It’s unhelpful and a waste of time.
So when you find someone trying to put their own fear on you, or even when you do it to yourself try a few of these techniques.
When I sense someone starting to share their unsolicited “advice” with me I quickly say a prayer and envision a protective layer of light surrounding me. It’s my armor. It let’s me listen to the person without taking on their words as my own.
I’ve got this covered.
When the fear makes it’s way in, I remind myself that I’m future tripping and my fear is not based on reality. But then, I pile a second layer onto that. “And if this fear ever becomes my reality I know that I am strong enough, supported enough, and loved enough to work through it.”
And then of course, most importantly. I go to my fear mantra. “Your story is not my story. I don’t have to guess what’s coming next. Instead, I focus on what’s here. Right now.”
This fear is unreal.
What’s real right now is what
I currently see in front of me.
What I currently have in my heart.
What I know I was born with.
Strength. Love. & Trust.
Have a happy & healthy week.