Once a month I meet with a group of women called the “Boise Women Who Get Shit Done.” We have guest speakers, panels and group events focused on a different theme each month. From block chain to “having it all” we dive into a lot of different topics, but this month’s theme was intentional goal setting.
It was such a great event that I thought I’d share some of the exercises with you all for a special edition of Friday Digs.
Exercise 1: The Circle
You draw a large circle on a piece of paper. On the inside of the circle you write everything you want in your life, on the outside you write everything you don’t want in your life.
Example: In my circle I wrote things like: Support, flexibility in my schedule, creativity, fulfilling work, family, friends, independence, yoga, healthy cooking. On the outside I wrote things like: Comparison, judgement, unhealthy food, fear on the unknown, doubt, a messy bathroom (yes, really.)
In this exercise you can go as deep or as surface level as you want, the trick is not to overthink what you write, just let everything come up. If you have to start with things like “lots of shoes,” that’s okay. Don’t edit yourself. You might be surprised at what comes up.
Exercise 2: Core Desired Feelings
This exercise is from the Desire Map and it encourages you to shape your goals around how you want to feel.
You start by making a list of how you want to feel. The goal is to have a large list of adjectives (at least 15). The next step is to narrow down your list by crossing out most of your words until your left with 3 – 5 core desired feelings. Don’t worry, the words you cross off can still be a part of your life, but what you’re trying to do is get really clear about the feelings that are most important to you. For even more clarity, define each feeling.
Example: If one of your core desired feelings is “empowered,” your definition might be “feel worthy of and confident asking for what I want and need.” My definition of a word might be different than yours, so you want to get really clear about what that feeling means to you.
To take this one step further, it was suggested that you write out your weekly or daily to do list. Then, compare what’s on that list to your core desired feelings. The goal is to make sure your core desired feelings are being tended to every day.
Exercise 3: Your Goals
Make 3 goals. One for each category: Personal, Career, Health. When thinking of your goals, shape them around how you want to feel instead of what you want to accomplish.
Ex: If “connection” is one of your core desired feelings, maybe your personal goal is to carve out 1 day per week to connect with friends and family, and 1 hour per day to connect with yourself.
Takeaways from the event:
- I really enjoyed this event. But, the entire time I was there I was feeling anxious and stressed. I’m used to doing this type of thinking and work but for whatever reason a lot of feelings came up as I was going through the exercises. Though I was feeling stressed, I didn’t let it ruin my time at the event. Instead, I took deep breaths, continued to move through my feelings, and witnessed my stressed without judging. It goes to show you that it’s important to be gentle with yourself and allow what comes up.
- On that note: a big theme at my table was the intention to “allow” our feelings instead of trying to suppress or control them. (Shoutout to Kendrick for this gem.)
- Another beautiful quote that was brought up was “Anxiety is living in the future, depression is living in the past. The only way to find peace is in the present.” This one especially resonated with me that night.
- The “to don’t list” was another popular topic on conversation. Making a “to don’t list” can help you recognize your time as a limited resource and focus on spending that time in a way that’s valuable to you.
Have a happy & healthy weekend!
Note: I may not have used the correct names for these exercises. The core work each exercise was adapted from Rock Your Bliss and Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map. A special thanks to Ashley Ridgway and Emily Erickson for leading our group event.