I’m actually not stupid. Or wrong. Or different from anyone else. But you know what? It’s taken me about 32 years to realize that.
When it comes to intimate details about myself, I’ve always been a very open person. If someone asks me about a certain situation and I’d tell them the truth, however weird or uncomfortable it was. Maybe not all the time—I follow basic social cues and try not to be too inappropriate—but if I’m having an honest conversation with a person, close friend, casual friend, neighbor, or otherwise, I usually let the truth out when asked.
Truly, I’ve shared very intimate details about my life with people who had no business knowing them. And you know what? I’ve always been embarrassed about this quality of mine.
We know the things we want to be working on; self care, meditation, reading that book, writing our own book. We say we are going to do it, we may even write it on our weekly to-do lists, yet more often than not those things we want to do get skipped over for the things we have to do.
That girl. She bugs you. She has what you want. She does what you do, sometimes she does it better.
She’s working so hard to be something that you are also working so hard to be.
She bugs you.
She is you.
We need to be gentle.
Any #SuperSoulSunday fans up in here? Thought so. Ditto.
In her interviews O always asks “what’s the thing that took you the longest to learn?” For me the thing I am still learning is to how to activate my voice and speak up for myself. This week’s mantra dives into that.
I’ve been thinking about “the nice woman,” the role I was taught to play as a girl, and continue to play now in adulthood. Specificaly, I’ve been thinking about how the “nice woman” plays out in my interactions with others—not my close friends and loved ones—just people that I come across in work and throughout the day. The “nice woman” is overly friendly. She actually is genuine. She actually does care about being nice to the people she interacts with. But she also knows that she must play this role. Society expects it of her.
I already know.
Yet, I’m a seeker by nature—always looking for the next answer, and more importantly the next question—though I bet that’s fairly obvious when reading this blog. And I bet your the same. As seekers we are constantly looking for new teachers, thoughts to ponder, and books to read. It’s a fierce curiosity that I cherish and that I believe nurtures our growth as humans and how we interact with the world.
The thing with seeking though, is that we have to remind ourselves, when it comes down to it, we’ve already got what we need. We don’t need to seek because we already know.